Thursday, April 21, 2016

WarXies(tm) [Current Year] Storm Troopers

From the seedlings of the once bullied, historically marginalized folks have grown a legion of moral Storm Troopers, capable of a singular emotion: rage.  The emotional locks and controls necessary to emotional intelligence have been stripped from the operating system code.  At the moment these “warriors” achieved a glimmer of sentience, they burst forth from their previous frightfully vulnerable, unacceptably infallible host-bodies and ordained themselves the new arbiters of morality.

Irony is an oft-misused trope, the concept and definition of which were not written into the programming of these anti-oppression warriors. Warlords? Warladies? WarXies? Let’s go with WarXies - I fucking like that one!  All of the descriptive goodness with none of the oppressive gender-specific inference!  WarXies lack the capabilities of self-reflection, introspection, ability to engage in honest dialog within themselves, preferring instead to focus all of their energies and more accurately, their post-modernist ire on everyone and everything but themselves.  Theirs is a busy job, a daunting and perpetual vigilance against any hint of aberrant thought, arbitrarily-defined hate-speech, ubiquitous and rampant micro-aggressions.  The infiltrative abilities of the WarXie are insidious; they assemble, maraud and conquer.

As with any invasive species, the WarXie wrest control from and unassailably alter the environs of their host .  The WarXie are the Japanese Carp of the Great Lakes, the European Conquerors of the Native / Indigenous people of early America, a true cancer of society.  Their initial intentions were honorable enough - history is replete with true warriors, men and women who fought for actual social justice, equitable treatment of humans, animals, races, religions.  These were the brave souls who didn’t just preach tolerance and acceptance, they lived it; walking the walk instead of just talking the talk, as today’s WarXies do.  MLK, Ghandi, the people and the movements - Lincoln, the abolition of slavery, child labor reforms; the scientists and miraculous medical advances that have been made and have given us a standard of living and life expectancy unheard of even 25 or 50 years ago.  What was once a certain death sentence as recently as the 1980s, is now not not just survivable, but increasingly manageable - case in point, HIV / AIDS.

Even after all of that, even in the face of advances made over things that were once unfathomably insurmountable, despite the truly great strides made in medicine, science, technology, manufacturing etc., WarXies are still unable to be appreciative of and appropriately grateful for any of it.  Nothing is ever good enough for the insatiable WarXie pariah.  [A founding father / important historical figure] dedicated [his - PATRIARCHY!] life to bringing about major societal reforms that indelibly altered and improved ed the trajectory of [race], but once owned slaves? Erase the entirety of his hateful legacy from the lexicon!  Billionaire benefactor donates $100K to a school system in need?  Selfish shitlord should have given even more!  Someone fully supports the premise of equality of races, but has further questions into the realities of said race’s crime or incarceration statistics, perhaps regarding the types, frequency or nature of said crimes?  You aren’t [that race], so you are a racist, hateful bigot who doesn’t understand [race’s] experience, never will and are forbidden from speaking of it or holding any kind of opinion whatsoever!  Furthermore, because you are [your race] and not [that race], you instantly go on the [race]-Devil, Shitlord Oppressor, Sworn Enemies list!  And, no matter how hard you work for the case of [that race], no matter how genuine and altruistic your motivations or convictions, you, as a [that race] person, are permanently staying on the Enemy List, to be eternally and thoroughly evaluated solely on the basis of…[your race].  Ironic?

In this moment, it is normal to feel a deep disturbance in ‘the force’; an unabiding, blinding desire to scream, “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??! Don’t you see the blatant hypocrisy in that?”.  What you’re feeling is the irony of reacting to the oppression of racism by, in turn, discriminating or damning entire segments of the population simply because of their [race].  Insert exploding head here and fear not, you’re not insane or wrong, you are actually seeing what you think you do.

Fear not, you’re in good company here; you're among friends.  As we already learned, it’s a “safe space”.  I thought you’d like that.  Have a cookie.  Ha ha, just kidding, have a Scotch; cookies are for wusses.  OH GOD, I’ve touched THE POOP!  Quick, Bolt the doors and windows, I hear pitchforks and torches being taken up by the WarXies, after hearing my egregious and hate-filled use of a (insert WarXie trigger words here)!!!!!


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